Sounds like the best workaround for this is to have a deadman switch to delete all data if the phone hasn’t been unlocked in a 24 hour period? Then it is your inaction that results in the destruction of the data, and you’d still be complying with the statute.
Probably going to get hate for this and reveal my age a bit, but i’ve been on Ubuntu since 2006 back when they’d actually mail you CDs for free. My desktop’s hardware has been a ship of theseus since then, and no dist-upgrade really ever broke things, and I think the last time I did a full OS reinstall was in like ~2011 when I got an SSD that was a smaller side than my old HDD, so I couldn’t just clone the drive with dd. Everything works well for what I need it for, and don’t need the bleeding edge.
Solid plan, until your eyes fall out of their sockets
Thought this was the building from this Tom Scott vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGQgmmrXONk